The Choice by Susan Lewis

Author:Susan Lewis [Susan Lewis]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Random House
Published: 2012-09-30T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Thirteen

NO ONE SPOKE throughout the drive home. Neither Spence nor Mrs A could find words to reach Nikki, whose silence seemed to generate a power all of its own. She stared out of the window seeing nothing, feeling even less and hearing only the hum of the engine and the faintest whisper of Zac snoring.

When they reached the house she went in first, carrying Zac in both arms, while Spence brought in the buggy and Mrs A went to park further down the street. By the time Mrs A came back Nikki had put the kettle on and Spence was standing in the middle of the sitting room, clearly at a total loss.

Going to give his hand a reassuring squeeze, Mrs A said, ‘When you are ready we should sit down and talk.’

He swallowed dryly and gave a distracted nod of his head.

Understanding that it was too soon to expect much response from either of them, she went into the kitchen to find Nikki still holding Zac while dropping tea bags into cups. There was a stiffness about her that made her seem so vulnerable and fragile that Mrs A thought she might break if she as much as touched her.

‘Why don’t you let me do that?’ she offered.

‘It’s OK, I can manage,’ Nikki said hoarsely.

Mrs A went on watching her, understanding she had to tread very gently, yet hardly knowing which way to go. ‘Shall I take Zac?’ she ventured. ‘He’s probably too warm in his coat.’

To her surprise Nikki handed him over, almost as though she’d been waiting for the suggestion, then she went to fetch some milk from the fridge.

Leaving her for the moment, Mrs A took Zac in to his father and placed him gently in Spence’s arms. She could tell from the way Spence’s eyes closed how hard he was finding this, to a point that he was almost afraid to touch his son, but it was so important that he did. Zac needed his parents now more than he ever had.

To her relief Spence pulled Zac to him and gave a sob as he pressed a kiss to his head. ‘Take off his coat,’ she advised, ‘and play with him.’

When Spence looked at her she could see how close he was to coming apart. ‘You can do it,’ she whispered, and after patting his arm, she returned to the kitchen to find the kettle boiling on the stove and Nikki staring into space.

After turning off the gas, Mrs A forced her own emotions aside and went to stand in front of Nikki, placing her hands on her arms, as though in some way it might help to hold her together. ‘We need to talk about what the doctor told you,’ she said.

Neither Nikki’s head nor eyes moved. It wasn’t even clear if she’d heard.

‘Nikki?’ Mrs A prompted.

‘Why?’ Nikki asked dully. ‘What’s there to say? He’s got this Tay whatever it is, and there’s nothing they can do.’

Mrs A’s heart flooded with the pain Nikki was trying so hard to reject.

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